Learning To Inspire Ourselves First

Inspiration is a funny thing indeed. One moment we can have a flash of genius only to return to our day to day mundane thoughts the next moment. We all want to be " inspired," or to find our muse. Why is it we never look to ourselves and aspire to be our own muses? Once again it goes back to the way society programs us to look outward for everything. As children we are encouraged to put others first and we begin to equate satisfying our needs with something bad. We are told that to put ourselves first is not what good people do, and putting others before us is the key to lasting happiness. I would argue that while being a thoughtful person is valuable, putting others before our own needs creates inner turmoil and perhaps even resentment. It creates an unnatural inner environment.

For true happiness to ever exist within any of us, we must re-program the way we were taught to place others before us. When people first hear this, many are shocked, because to even entertain the idea is wrong and they are instantly guilt-ridden. There is a reason when you’re on a plane you are instructed to put the oxygen mask on yourself first if you’re a parent. You cannot save someone else, if you don't save yourself first. Why do we not look at that as selfish? Perhaps because it makes perfect sense. If we feel uninspired or stuck in our lives, perhaps we are spending too much time looking outward for the answers. There is a reason why we begin and end our life journey alone. We have to learn to be separate above all else. It is not bad to place ourselves and our needs before others. Imagine if you will that everyone's life is like a garden. If you spend all your time in other people's garden, then you have no time to cultivate your own. It will be full of weeds and dead flowers. Who wants to be in a place like that? If we all tended to our own gardens, then we could all enjoy the splender of one another's sacred gardens and life would be richer.

Learning to inspire ourselves first means taking the time to get to know ourselves. We live in such a fast-paced world that many argue they simply don't have the time to slow down and smell the roses. The Italians have one main creed they live by. " dolce far niente." Translated that means the sweetness of doing nothing. They close up their businesses and schools every day at lunch, and the families spend several hours enjoying the sweetness of doing nothing but eating, laughing and loving. As Americans we have much to learn from them. We never stop going. Everything is fast. faster food, faster internet speed, faster phones. We never slow down long enough to even smell the coffee we bought at Starbucks. If we are to be happy, we simply have to slow down and make the time to put ourselves first. We have to make a conscious decision to make inspiration a part of our daily lives and that inspiration must be a calling from within.

Meditation comes in many forms. Not all of us can sit patiently for long periods of time and go into a deep trance. Unfortunately for many, they have a misconception of what meditation is. For years I tried to meditate but having ADD can really make sitting and focusing a challenge. I have re-defined the idea of meditation for myself to make it realistic and applicable to myself. I encourage others to do the same. Meditation is simply dedicated time to going within. It doesn't have to involve chanting or mantras. It can be as simple as closing your eyes and taking several deep breaths. Not putting a time constraint on it, or any expectations. It can be creating a refuge where there are no problems,or people that demand anything of you. It is a place where you can be the star. Most importantly it is your space. it belongs only to you and if you spend the time developing it, it can be a place you look forward to retreating to. We have to recharge as humans. Our spirituality is not some new age concept, it is an integral part of our existence Learning to find a way to seek out alone time will inspire you to become the person you want to be, and in time it can teach you to become your own muse. Namaste!

Finding Our Own Answers Within

As children we are taught to look toward our parents or the caretakers in our lives for answers. We then looked toward our teachers and authority figures. It would simply make sense that as adults we would continue to look outside of ourselves to find answers. Yet at some point after years of fruitless searching many of us reach a point in our inner-journey where we realize other's answers may not necessarily be our own. To finally realize that we have to make our own way can be painful and even cataclysmic for some. It goes back to that existential aloneness that all humans eventually must face. There are those that would have us believe that without their knowledge we don't stand a chance of finding the answers we need to evolve. That is simply not true. While there are those that can inspire us with their awareness, we ultimately are the ones who must find our own way.

many ask "How do I find the answers, when all I have are questions?" that is indeed a legitimate question. We all struggle with who we are and what our purpose is here on earth. Many believe that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. When a person is drowning, the worst thing they can do is fight. They will tire eventually and die. It is much the same with our spiritual journeys. We have to stop struggling and accept who we are right now. That is not always easy, especially if we are facing difficult circumstances in our lives. As humans we spend so much time trying to hang on to everything and everyone in our lives. Letting go is something we are conditioned to avoid. We rationalize with ourselves by saying if I let go of this person or this situation, then I will be alone and suffer and that is just too scary, so I will just hang on for dear life. Suffering is a part of the human condition. Life is full of suffering, but by holding on to people or things longer than we should, then we are creating our own suffering. We have to learn to go within and act as our own advisors.

A wonderful exercise has to do with visualization. It is particularly great for those who are not at the point where they can meditate. We have our imaginations for a reason, so use it. When you are about to drift off to sleep or anytime throughout the day when you are struggling with a problem. Close your eyes and create a person in your mind. Spend the time to really get to know that person. What they look like, the way they talk, how they make you feel. Use them as a sounding board when you are struggling with a problem. Talk to them and get their opinion. Over time, you will begin to see that the person in your imagination is your higher self. this person has the right answers because they are part of you. they know you and love you. While it is nice to bounce ideas off of friends and loved ones, in the end we have to make our own decisions. having an advocate within yourself is the key. It means you trust yourself and your ability to make healthy decisions. It is a powerful exercise that I created for myself and I cannot say enough about how much it works. the empowerment you will gain is incredible. It will gently wake up your soul and teach you to stop looking outward for answers. Namaste!

Learning To Trust In Others Begins With Learning To Trust Ourselves

Trust is a funny thing, either you have it or you don't. When it comes to the question of trust, most psychologists agree with Bowlby's theory of attachment. If an infant is raised in an environment where their caretaker(s) is present and nurturing then more often than not the child trusts that the world is a safe place to explore. That being said, even the most trusting of children can lose their ability to trust if their family is fractured by divorce or death. Trust is the glue that binds relationships. If that epoxy is not the foundation of any relationship, then like a poorly built boat, eventually it will spring a leak and sink.

Trust can be as elusive as a jaguar, and as resilient as nature. The key to trusting others, begins with a strong trust in self. That means knowing who we are and having faith that we can pick people to care about us that are worthy of our love. It also means knowing when things are not healthy for us and having the trust we need to move on. How do we trust ourselves? The first step is self-evaluation. We have to be honest enough with ourselves to acknowledge that we may not place as much trust in ourselves as we should. This is typically obvious in the quality of our life and relationships. If we are not happy, then we are not trusting our worth. When we trust in ourselves, we know that we deserve joy thus we seek out only those people and experiences that honor us.

If we are totally honest with ourselves, we can recall relationships that we knew were not entirely healthy for us. Not necessarily destructive, but simply not supportive of our intrinsic value. Most of us eventually walked away, but for some the price was high. Our self-esteem was affected and it made it even more likely that we would end up in another relationship that did not honor the great people we were. Do we subconsciously seek out relationships and experiences that allow us to replay our childhoods? If we felt unloved as a child, as adults will we seek out that love with a stranger? The experts agree that there is some truth to that theory. Unfortunately for many, the people that they attempt to receive love from, are as emotionally unavailable as their childhood caretakers, thus it becomes a catch 22. Only until we step back from our relationships and have the courage to honestly examine them, will we see just how little trust some of us might have actually had.

We come into this life alone and we die alone, yet in between we have the privilege to love and be loved. the great Carl Jung posited that without "you" there can be no real sense of "me." As human beings we do need interaction with other human beings. We all crave love and want to feel close to others. Yet, if we cannot embrace our separateness, then we can never fully appreciate our togetherness. So many look at the periods when they are in between relationships as misery personified. They are "lonesome," and feel like they are in idle until they meet that special someone that will fill them up. Sadly, they miss a wonderful opportunity to build up a strong and loving relationship with themselves. They never fully grasp the concept that the greater the relationship they build with themselves, the greater their future relationships with others can be.

Today have the courage to examine your life. Are you happy with where it is going? Are you happy in your relationships? Is it hard to be alone? We don't have to be single to learn to trust ourselves. We have the ability to step back within a relationship and reclaim ourselves at any given moment. Ask yourself honestly "do I trust myself?" Some people may shrug their shoulders and answer sheepishly, "I don't know." On the back of the dollar bill it says "In God we trust." we have seen it our whole lives, and we never question it. Most people simply trust in God, yet where is it written "trust in self"? Do we think it is selfish or narcissistic to place more trust in ourselves then those around us? Why can we not be autonomous first? Place trust in yourself first and you will see how much happier and healthier your relationships can be. Remember "In self we trust."

Living A Balanced Life

What does living a balanced life really mean? Our culture advocates doing things in moderation, yet for many that can be a challenging concept. Living a balanced life simply means giving equal power to both heaven and earth. We attempt to seek a happy medium, one which relies equally on God(or whatever entity you choose to call it) and ourselves. That sounds easy enough in theory, but it can often be daunting. When our lives feel out of sync, it could very well be that we have lost our equilibrium and need to regain or find a sense of balance.

In this culture, we are taught to "turn things over." From an early age, we have all these balls thrown at us. Eventually we begin to feel angry and restless in our lives, because we might be juggling ideas that don't necessarily align with our true selves. It is at this point we have what in psychology is coined as an "identity crisis." What does this really mean? It means that there is an imbalance within who we are and who we want to be. If we have allowed the world around us(e.g. family, friends, society, etc) to tell us who we "should" be, then our journey is not authentic and eventually a voice within tells us something is just not right. It can begin as a whisper, but eventually a crisis or trying event in our life will ignite that whisper into a loud, thundering scream. Unfortunately for many, the voice will be squelched and replaced with an addiction, or another distraction that continues the alienation from one’s true self. Why do we let others dictate our happiness? Why do we not follow our dreams because others might deem them as frivolous? So many people live an unauthentic life because they are living the life of other's expectations.

Many people may be at a crossroad in their life. A place where they are looking back in disappointment and forward with confusion. They question, how do I live my life differently? How do I live the rest of my life for myself and not for others? The answer is simple. Just do it and stop waiting for permission. We cannot expect someone to wave a magic wand over us and suddenly transform our lives. The power of change is not outside of us-it is within. The time to start is now with the firm resolve that no one but you can change your life. Acceptance is key. We cannot live our life with regret- it poisons the soul. We are here at this exact moment because we chose this path. Life did not just happen to us. we are not victims of our circumstances. For many that is often the most painful and difficult truth. To cognitively accept that they made every decision along the path of their life can be both affirming and alarming.

The gift of life is that each day we can start over. we don't have to continue to make the same choices and walk down the same path. The greatest advice about spirituality that one can ever receive is that everyone has a different time table. You might look around you and see those that appear so "enlightened," while you feel like a car stuck in the mud. Stop comparing and searching to arrive at a place of enlightenment. Just accept yourself here in this moment and know that you will reach a place of balance. Your spirit is waking up and it might take a few cups of coffee to kick it into high gear..... Just breathe, laugh and keep moving forward.

Our Passion Is Our True Calling

Our minds are our greatest tools. We can create anything if we just believe. First in ourselves and then in our power to create our heart-felt desires. We have to stop waiting for life to happen to us and make it happen for us. It starts with passion. The word "passion," derived from Latin passion, means an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something. The Greek asked only one question when a man died, did he have passion?

What we are passionate about is what drives us through our lives and although it may change; it is always present. For some it is a mere whisper while for others a trumpeting cry. Perhaps we have not really thought about what we are passionate about. If not, now is the time to begin. There was an old proverb about a man who was working in his garden when a voice spoke from the heavens. The voice told the man he had only 24 hours to live so to use the time wisely. The man continued to work in his garden. A little later a neighbor was walking by and he asked the man how he was doing. The man told his neighbor of the voice and its prediction. The neighbor in shock looked at the man and asked " what are you going to do with that time my friend?" The man calmly answered "I am already doing it." Our passion does not have to be grandiose, it can be as simple as tending to our gardens. Passion is the underpinning of our joy and without it, we are left like a dingy floating aimlessly in open waters.

Many struggle daily with the existential question, what is my purpose? Why not ask what is my passion? Why must we feel as if we are here to earn our happiness? Our joy or passion is the gift we already have earned. It is our personal relevance which is the key to our purpose and ultimate happiness. Perhaps the greatest poverty of all is going through life as though we have never found our purpose, when our purpose all along was simply to find our passion and live it. There are really only two things we must master in our lifetimes to find true happiness- be of service to others as much as we possibly can and polish our inner being to its fullest radiance. That means we must take the time to ask ourselves what am I passionate about and what brings me the greatest joy. Why waste another moment....start asking. Namaste.

True Happiness Is Our Birthright

It has been said that every journey begins with the first step. How do we take the first step toward finding true inner-happiness? Most of us have been saddled from birth with what we are "suppose" to believe in regarding happiness. These beliefs belong to others and might not necessarily be own. When we strip away all of the circumstances in our lives, e.g. money, bills, relationships, etc- the one constant that always remains is "self." All the other things are transitory, they only have power over our happiness if we allow them to. Ultimately that something to believe in should always be "ourselves."

There is probably a collective cry echoing "But, how do I believe in myself and is this really the key to happiness?" Here is an interesting question. Why should happiness be something obtainable? Why shouldn't it already be something we naturally own? The answer lies in the messages that are passed down to us. For so many of us, when we are born all around us we are bombarded with this misconception that we are to spend our lives seeking out and earning rites to happiness. True happiness should not be a state we arrive at. It should be a birthright we already have. We simply have to quit expecting it to be a result of specific actions. That is not to say that we should not have goals and desires, but for one to believe that happiness is a clandestine state that has to be earned is a fallacy. When we fall prey to this belief, we automatically kill our chances of happiness because we have given our power away. Once we give our power to something outside of ourselves then we are no longer in control of our destinies and we become imbalanced. Happiness is living in the moment and accepting ourselves for exactly who we are. The knowledge that we have the power to change our lives at any given moment by changing our attitude is a powerful realization.

Sit for a moment and be honest with yourself. Have you always felt happiness was something you had to earn? Was there always a void that never seemed to be filled even after you obtained those things that were supposed to bring you happiness? Now breathe and believe that at this very moment you can be happy by just living in the moment and knowing it is already part of your birthright. You don't have to earn it. Happiness is not a destination, it is a journey that begins with believing in yourself. It is already here waiting for you to stop seeking it. Namaste