Believing We Are Enough

At what point in our lives will we stop believing that we are not enough? From the moment we are born,society brain washes us into believing that our happiness exists outside of ourselves in people, places and things. This external,conditional love we seek has the power to make us or break us. Sadly, we never realize that the chains that we perceive are setting us free, are actually enslaving us and only we have the key. If we give external factors the power to jerk us around and control our happiness, then we will always feel powerless and dependent on everything but ourselves. One day our spirit will wake up and realize that all we need is right here and right now in this very moment. All we have to do is start listening to the voice inside of us that says " I am enough."

Websters dictionary defines happiness as "A state of well being and contentment." I agree with this definition, I also believe that true happiness can not be obtained externally. While it may feel as if love, success, material wealth, etc are the source of our happiness, I would say that they are conditional and can not offer constant or even lasting happiness. Many argue that constant happiness is impossible. Of course none of us are elated 24-7-We have good days and bad days. I am referring to the kind of happiness that exists at a cellular level-a calm and constant, internal voice that tells us no matter what, we are enough. Many of us are guilty of living our lives in holding patterns, waiting for the perfect partner to come along, or the perfect job, etc. Some how, we convince ourselves that when these external conditions finally arrive, then we will experience true happiness. It is almost as if we have resigned to exist in this state of limbo until our ship arrives. For many, it does arrive and eventually it sails off, leaving them once again searching the horizon for the next ship to dock.

When I write these blogs, so many people ask me..."well, what is the answer...how do I do this?" The truth is, I don't know. I can only share what I have discovered for myself through my own experience, strength and hope. Each person has to find their own way. I believe that all of us has a unique path to follow in this life. Just like happiness, we have to seek our own answers inside ourselves, not from others. We can listen to others and observe their journey, but their answers belong to them alone, not us. I would say, stop looking to others to help you find your answers and trust that when the time is right, your soul will know exactly what to do.

I struggled spiritually for so many years looking outwardly for guidance from others. It never lasted, because they were not my answers-I was just merely bowering them. Eventually over time, I would find myself back in the same boat, lost and confused. I was trying to find my way using someone else's road map and not creating my own. That is not to say that the words of others are not valuable and even instrumental in inspiring us. What I mean is that at the end of the day, we have to walk our own lone path. It is simply part of our soul's necessary evolution. One day we have to wake up and learn to trust ourselves and create our own answers.

There is a place that is often overlooked and that is the state of "in between." As humans we tend to look at things black and white. We are either here or there, it is either then or now.... Those "in between" periods when we feel as if we are not growing or evolving are actually very powerful periods. When a seed is under the ground preparing to sprout-we cannot recognize its value, it is only when we physically see it shoot up from the ground that it takes on meaning. That dormant stage of a seed's process is similar to our own spiritual growth. Our soul is always evolving, even if we cannot see it. We just have to trust like that seed preparing to sprout-we too have a natural course to follow spiritually and in time we will blossom into exactly the person source intended us to be. Namaste.

Believing That We Are The Master Of Our Own Fate

The universe doesn't have feelings or empathy for us. Think of it as a canyon-when you yell into it, it reverberates with the sound of your own voice. What you want in this life, you create, by speaking clearly into the universe. Your hopes, aspirations, dreams, etc.. echo back to you. But first, you must be clear about what it is you want and stop waiting for life to happen to you. Clarity is the key when manifesting happiness. If we don't know what we really want, then how can it ever be manifested? Many individuals think they know what they want, yet they remain unhappy and unfulfilled. The key to happiness depends upon discovering "who" we are and learning to love ourselves unconditionally. It may sound like "new-age" mumbo jumbo, but if you are constantly punishing yourself for past mistakes or your shortcomings, then you will sabotage your desires. They will be trumped by your subconscious negative thoughts and self-talk.

Many individuals believe that love, success, physical beauty, etc will bring them happiness and they tell themselves that they want it, yet many subconsciously sabotage that desire and remain in idle. When it comes to the messages we tell ourselves, messages like: "If I found a partner I would be complete," or "If I got that 'perfect' job then my life would be meaningful, " etc., we pay lip service to it, yet what we are unconsciously telling the universe may be quite the contrary. We have to "know" that we "know" that we "know" what we want and that must first begin with knowing "who" we are and accepting ourselves on a deep subconscious level. Our plan has to be definite, purposeful...untainted by contradiction-otherwise we will get back from the universe exactly what we put out there.....mixed messages. We have to be willing to look inside ourselves and face this process head on....no revervations. It isn't easy because most people just don't know where to start.

If your life is not reflecting all that you want and desire, then perhaps it is because you are not clear with yourself about what those things are. Many of you are probably thinking, Hey wait a minute, I know that I want to be in a loving relationship, or that I want to be successful- My question is, "Then why aren't you...what is stopping the process?" It is so easy for all of us to blame everything and everyone around us for our unhappiness...including God or the universe- It takes courage to look at ourselves and ask ourselves what part we play in all this. When was the last time you really challenged yourself and took responsibility for your own happiness...have you ever? If not....then start right now. it isn't impossible-it just takes desire, courage and commitment. If your unhappy with yourself, then chances are your unhappy with your life. Let's face it-none of us really wants to hear that-We would rather point the finger at external circumstances.

The place to begin is right here-right now. It means first being open to the possibility that you might be standing in your own way of happiness. It means asking questions like; Do I love myself or even know what that means, could I subconsciously be blaming or punishing myself for past events or circumstances, can I forgive myself for my mistakes and disappointments. This might sound like more over-used "self-helf" nonsense, but I assure you it is not. Everything is made up of matter and energy...that isn't philosophy that is science. What we believe, the thoughts we produce, they too are matter and energy. If we think good thoughts, then those good thoughts echo back to us. If we are unconsciously thinking about negative things, we may not even realize that those thoughts have the power to echo back from the universe conflicting with all of those good thoughts we are consciously thinking about. The question here is-are you sabotaging your happiness? Once again if your praying for amazing things to happen, but amazing things aren't coming back...I challenge you to ask yourself why? Look inward and ask yourself what you might be doing to stand in your own way.

Tonight before you drift off to sleep,close your eyes, breathe deeply and look deep within yourself-tell yourself that you are ready to be happy. Give yourself permission to do so by asking your higher self for the courage to begin this process. Even if you don't have a clue how this is going to happen-just be open to the possibility. Imagine yourself happy and what that would feel like. Be clear about what you want and then have your higher self tell yourself that together you will begin this journey.....you have taken the first step.....congratulations. namaste!

Believing In The Power Of Our Imagination

Nelson Mandela once said "The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." Fear is a normal part of our biological makeup. It is the flight and fight mode that is the front man in our ability to survive. Yet not all fear is good- Most of our fears are self-created. From the beginning of time fear has been part of mankind. First man was motivated by fear to survive in a hostile world. Then other men instilled fear into the weak. The bible states " Fear God and keep his commands: for this is the whole duty of man." As of late with the state of the economy and the fear the government has enslaved man with- one has to wonder why the words printed on the dollar don't read "In God We Fear." Fear....it has been the cause of wars, slavery, poverty. When Jung described both the individual and collective "shadow" of man...clearly he was describing man's fears. One of our greatest struggles as human beings, is to learn to not let our fears run with free rein. This is the area where control is a friend and not foe. What are we afraid of? It's different For every individual-each of us with a closet full of named and unnamed fears.

Einstein wasn't a genius just because he formulated the Theory of Relativity; he was a genius because he tried to teach man about the greatest untapped power of all...his imagination. What happened to our ability to fantasize, day dream and pretend? As children it was part of our daily lives...then one day for so many it just became something called upon when helping out with last minute school projects or nostalgic moments of "what if." Perhaps we missed the boat on what a powerful tool our imaginations can be in transforming our lives. Why are we programed in society to focus on the negative and not the positive? Of course that is meant to be a rhetorical question, because at any given moment we have the power to change. If someone told you that they could offer you a way to be happy beyond your wildest dreams-wouldn't you be the first to wave your arms frantically yelling "yes...me, me." Well, I am telling you that you can be happier beyond your wildest dreams if you just tap into the greatest resource you have-your imagination.

The nay sayers are already rolling their eyes and using programed negative self-talk to construct an argument. "Well, I recently lost my job, and my mother is dying of cancer.....my imagination can't change THAT!" Nope-it sure can't...but imagining a time when things were better or imagining the endless possibilities ahead is such a nicer way to live life. Change what you can and accept the rest as part of life. Why is it so much easier for us to imagine the worst when it takes the same effort to imagine the best? For so many, the power of imagination has become about letting fears consume their daily lives and imagining the worst like Fear of being alone, fear of being stuck in a bad relationship, fear of growing old, fear of dying, fear of not having enough money to retire...and on and on and on. When was the last time you imagined something wonderful? If you take the time daily to close yourself off to your fears, I guarantee you that over time you will begin to imagine less about the bad and more about the good. Just try it. Each day for a few minutes...imagine your life the way you want it to be...the person you want to be....smile and really experience it. And the next time a fear pops up....use your imagination to challenge the fear by imagining something good....When you imagine all you want to be and all that could be...then you cannot help it be. Namaste

Believing that labels don't define us

When people claim they want to "find themselves," or ask the question "who am I?" what does that really mean? As human beings we are conditioned to identify ourselves and others with labels such as: intelligent, funny, creative, etc., but these are just labels and don't really define "who" we are. Who we are is much more abstract and significant than just labels or characteristics. As children we learn to navigate the world by attaching labels or characteristics to things. Kittens become something that are fuzzy and purr and fellow humans become identified by their own distinct characteristics. But once again do those labels and chacteristics really define "who" we are as spiritual beings?

When we question "who we are" perhaps it is more about us wanting to feel accepted, valued or to possess a sense of belonging in the world on a more basic spiritual level. When people feel lost or adrift maybe they have spent far too many years looking outward for validation and have allowed labels to define them and once these labels are stripped away or questioned-they are left feeling confused and vulnerable. Perhaps if they stopped looking outside of themselves for answers and just listened....truly listened they might hear their spirit calling out to them to reconnect- Like a faraway voice calling out from the distance offering hope to one lost and frightened in a blinding blizzard.

The question "who am I?" may just seem like just an existential cliché but it isn't. It is the one question that challenges us from the moment we are born and for most until the end of our days. While it might affect people in varying degrees- at some point every human being will confront this existential dilemma. The question we must ask ourselves is not just "who am I?" but what labels have I allowed myself to be defined by? And more importantly, "can I let go of those labels?" If we are not smart, funny, strong, kind, then how can we define our existence? Perhaps discovering who we are is less about the labels or characteristics that "describe" us and more about our personal sense of "self" or spirit. If we strip all the labels and characteristics which describe us on a cognitive level, then what we are left with is just our souls...undefinable. Our spirit's only purpose is to love and be loved....pure and simple. First our cognitive or conscious mind must accept this simple truth and learn to love "self" or "spirit" unconditionally void of any labels or conditions. Once we achieve this then our love of "self" becomes "who" we are. It is what defines us and our purpose here on earth. We no longer are living externally but internally and all of those labels become meaningless.

How do we learn to love ourselves? Here is the cliff-hanger; we don't HAVE to learn...we already do. Our cognitive mind has gotten in the way with all of these labels and conditions that we have allowed to define our existence, sense of worth, our very being. Somehow along the way, we have begun to believe that we must somehow become "worthy" of love by proving ourselves or earning it-yet our spirits know otherwise. This aching deep within us,this restlessness that makes us feel like something is missing...that is our subconscious mind trying to tell us that we are enough...that we have always been enough. When we can let go of all of those external things that define us and look internally at the amazing spirit that we were given as a gift at birth....then we will feel complete and we will no longer be asking "who am I" We will know that we just "are" and that is enough. Namaste

Believing We All Have A Purpose

The one mantra that I always hear is "What is my purpose in life? I to have heard that mantra resounding in my own head for the entirety of my life. I have always felt that somehow I was meant to do something great. Yet as of late I have come to believe that our purpose as humans may be less about doing great and more about being great. Learning to love ourselves and realize that we are enough is the greatest achievement of all. Society brainwashes us into believing that unless we achieve external accolades then we are somehow not successful in life. There seems to be far too little emphasis on the importance of internal success. Life becomes more about what we have rather then who we are.

Who are you? Have you taken the time to recognize yourself separate from others, and your achievements? Learning that "who" we are is not relational to "what" we do. Societal expectations are likened to that of a prisoner who has suddenly realized that his cell was never locked and he could have walked out at any given moment. Viktor Frankl is a perfect example of living internally. Despite all the degradation he endured while a prisoner at Auschwitz-he believed that man only suffered if he allowed external conditions to enslave him. He stated "A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth -- that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love." Quite simply, Frankl believed that by dwelling in the spiritual domain where there existed true self-love....he could find refuge from suffering.

Society speaks a lot of religion and the path to God....yet much little about the path to self. Everywhere we look we are encouraged to seek external gratification. Through love and partnership, work and success. We build our lives and self- worth on a foundation of uncertain external circumstances...then when those circumstance changes, we feel frightened and confused. Then angry and often hopeless. The problem is not that we reached outside ourselves for gratification-it is that we placed all our worth on those things. nature has much to teach us about change, as it is always changing. Our cores should be like the ocean. When a storm ravages the sea, on the surface it is violent-yet beneath the surface it remains calm. This is how we must live our lives. We must have a strong core that reminds us each and every moment that regardless of what is happening externally... inside we are enough....unaffected.

Ironically, the first thought for many who read these words will be "how do I do this? How do I live internally?" once again looking outward for the answer. The answer is simple-you just do it. There is no great secret. You begin to use self-talk to be your own counsel. Einstein was not brilliant just because he discovered the theory of relativity-he was brilliant because he understood the power of imagination. Our imagination is our greatest untapped resource. We have this amazing gift of creating whatever reality we choose for ourselves-yet we still look outward for other's to lead the way. Use your imagination next time you have a problem. Lie down, close your eyes and create a person in your imagination that you can talk to and who can listen. Be detailed about what they look like, where they are, how they make you feel. Eventually over time with patience and practice- you will realize that this person is your higher self and they have all the answers you need. Go to this place each day and I promise you over time-you will see changes in your life. You will begin to live internally. You will begin to trust that you have all your own answers. I wish you luck on this path...Namaste

Believing That True Happiness Is Living Our Lives Internally

Authentic self-esteem should be stationary and unaffected by outside conditions. Individuals with a strong sense of self-value can separate who they are from external factors. Like a ship on the sea, they don't let the waves knock them off course-they are able to overcome the conditions. Unfortunately far too many individuals allow people and life's circumstances to define their happiness. They are not able to separate who they are from outside conditions. This makes for a life of constant ups and downs-they are like a boat tossed about on the sea of life.

True happiness should be a constant state of self-fulfillment-not relational to what is happening outside of ourselves. When we stop allowing external circumstances to define our happiness then we experience true freedom. How do we not allow external factors(people, events, etc) to affect our happiness? First we have to face the painful reality that we are telling ourselves that we are not enough, thereby allowing those external factors to manipulate our sense of self. Until we recognize this we will never be free from it. Once we are able to separate circumstances from our sense of worth, then we can change it. When we feel that knot in our gut that tells us we are allowing people, things, events to manipulate us, we have to stop and take hold of the situation. We have to make a conscious decision to act as our own counsel- use self-talk to soothe ourselves and redirect ourselves back inward. We take our power back by making the conscious decision to do so. It is that simple.

We have to learn to separate ourselves from the external circumstances in our lives. We must learn to live our lives internally. In other words, we are not the external labels that we might be experiencing such as "poor," "single," "unemployed," etc. These are just outside factors or conditions existing in our lives-they do not define who we are as spiritual beings. We are born into a culture that programs external living. we are not taught as children to live our lives internally. If we look inward then we are told we are being selfish. Who we are is our own decision-our birthright. It should be a constant. Far too many of us see ourselves AS the external conditions in our lives. We feel bad because we are unemployed, unable to find a mate, struggling financially, or feel burnt out in our jobs or lives. If we cannot consciously separate ourselves from these external factors, then like a victim being robbed, we simply hand over our personal power and become victims of circumstance.

Realizing that we are not the external factors in our lives, might very well be the key to happiness. As a spiritual being, we can never truly be happy if we don't separate WHO we are from all of the external circumstances in our life. These are only illusions of happiness-they are not stationary like our souls. If we constantly give our power away to them, then we will never be balanced or genuinely fulfilled. I encourage you to step back and separate yourselves from the external factors presently in your life. What you will have left to face is yourself. Talk to yourself and gently remind your soul that your true essence is not conditional on these factors. They are only illusions that you have placed your power in. True happiness and self-fulfillment comes to us when we can strip away the false notion that anything outside of ourselves can ever offer us true lasting happiness.
Namaste.

We Cannot Learn To Live Until We Have Mastered An Understanding of Death

Death, the final frontier or the signal of another birth for our spirits? From the moment we are born, we are aware of our mortality. It is all around us. People are born and people die. We focus so much on the beginning and the end that we can easily forget to embrace the moment. What if someone were to tell you that death was not the end but simply your spirit leaving this physical body and returning to source. Once it left this body, it's spiritual journey continued, never ending. Would you live your life differently knowing that death was not the end, and spirit continues to exist and grow? Most of us don't cognitively want to acknowledge our lives eventually ending. It scares us to think that we will die and no longer be in this physical realm. For many death is frightening because we are confused about where we go afterwards.

Most Christians believe that they will go to Heaven, yet there are many people still left wondering where they will end up. The reality is if we hang on to this notion of dying too tightly, then our fear may keep us from fully living. Each of us has to come to terms with death in our own way. For many years I never questioned death much. Perhaps that was just the invincibility that youth brings. Something changed after I had my children. I began to worry about what would happen to my children if I were to cross over. This new question of death began to bleed into my life and that terrified me. I would lie awake at nights questioning and pondering where we go after we leave our bodies, and if this was it.

During a recent meditation, something magical happened. It was as if a calming voice told me that death was only the end of our flesh and not our spirits. After we left this physical body, our spirits moved on. Whether we came back again was up to us. I did not question it. It made sense and I somehow understood it. Does that mean that I still won't feel afraid to die? No, it just means that the question of where I go, the question of death's finality has been answered for me. learning to let go of the physical plane is hard for those spirits that love life and their 'humanness.'

There is calmness in the wake of this realization for me. While I want to stay here on earth and drink in all of her beauty, I also know that when my time is up, I will continue to exist on a different plane. I will grow and evolve and begin a new journey either back on earth or somewhere else. None of us can ever say what is. Einstein suggested that there were different planes or platforms existing simultaneously. Perhaps that is where we exist after we leave our physical bodies. We write our own script here on earth. We also write our own spiritual script after we leave. Only we can decide for ourselves what is right for us and for our own personal spiritual journey. Being open to the idea that we shift from one plane to another may help us live our lives here on earth to the fullest. Namaste!

Believing That Change Is Good

Change...an integral part of life, yet one of the hardest processes to accept as human beings. People feel helpless when they are faced with the thought of change and often struggle with where to begin. I have found that the best place to begin, is right where you are. Look at it like putting together a jigsaw puzzle. You never question the first piece you begin with. You simply have faith that the end result will bring completion. That is also the most effective way to tackle the process of change within ourselves. If we wait for that perfect moment, like that perfect piece, then we may never begin our quest for self-actualization. Change is hard- it takes courage, strength and discipline. We have to want to change for it to ever last and be authentic.

Many of us may have been victims as children, but over time we became victims of negative behavior patterns. We can change these patterns and become the people we want to be, but first we must acknowledge that we need to change. Once we have faced that calling deep within us to move in a new direction, then we need the courage to start walking. The very core of nature, is change. It is about birth and rebirth. It does not resist that process. Like nature, we to are constantly changing. Whether we recognize it or not. It only makes sense that we should welcome the opportunity to shed our old outdated modes of thinking and interacting with those around us, and strive to become better and newer versions of ourselves. We don't think twice about upgrading our cars or phones for newer more advanced models, yet we do not seem to feel that way about ourselves.

Our daily mantra should be "I embrace change in myself and others." Change is scary because of its intrinsic rippling effect. When someone close to us changes, it challenges us to adjust and possibly re-evaluate ourselves and that can make us feel angry and resentful. especially if we are not open to change. We have to allow and encourage other's personal growth. We cannot be selfish and expect that our loved ones should not upset the apple cart because of how it might affect us. We are all here to grow and evolve spiritually. If we are not courageous enough to look deep within ourselves and make a shift, then we should allow ourselves to be inspired by those that do have the courage. Let them be our teachers and flow with them as they evolve in their quest for change. If we cannot do this, then we should bless them and set them free. The time to begin change is right at this moment. So pick up that first piece of the puzzle and have faith that the final picture will be you as the perfect being you deserve to be. Namaste

Realizing That Our Fears Have Power Only If We Let Them

Fear is a part of our biological makeup. It reminds us that we are human and motivates us to recognize danger and act appropriately. As children we all recall being frightened by something. For many of us, it was a hideous creature lurking under our beds or dwelling in the cavernous realms of our closets. In reality, those monsters were only figments of our imagination and a byproduct of our struggle for autonomy. As adults, it can be easy to give into our fears and find ourselves once again like those frightened children clinging to our teddy bears and waiting for our parents to reassure us that we are safe. The first step in not falling prey to our fears, is to recognize them as they rear their nasty little heads and then to realize that they only have as much power as we allow them.

Some fears are legitimate. They speak to us about things we need to address. For example, if we don't pay our electric bill on time, then we face the reality of having our lights turned off. These little fears are a part of day to day living and simply keep us moving in the way society expects us to move. Yet other fears can be more then gentle reminders of the things we are expected to do in order to be deemed responsible. There are the fears that are like the pre shocks of an earthquake. they start off small but if we give them too much power, they can have catastrophic effects.

Although most people don't realize it, The anatomy of a fear is quite precise for each individual. It starts out like thus. Someone is arguing with their partner about money and makes an angry comment about how irresponsible the other is. Sure enough, there might be some validity in that, but the person is too angry and hurt to recognize it. They hurl back accusations and both people storm off angry. The person who was accused of being irresponsible begins to ruminate and rather than vow to find resolution continues to feel angry and resentful, indignant even. What they fail to realize is that the schemas in their subconscious mind have hooked on to past unresolved experiences where they might have been told they were irresponsible. So now, the fear and insecurity kicks in and regardless of whether there was any truth to the accusation or not, the center of the brain where fear is regulated has fledged a full blown attack.

In order to understand fear, we first to accept that we all have ingrained patterns of dealing with and resolving problems. Some of you are crying out, "But wait, I really DO have something to be afraid of. I lost my job and they are going to come and repo my car any day. How can I NOT be afraid?" That is a valid question. Of course one would be fearful in a situation like that. Yet, rather than allow yourself to ruminate and let the fear paralyze you into inactivity. Try to break the cycle of fear and look back on all the times in the past when you were at your darkest hour and things did somehow work out. It is not that the fears are being ignored, they are just not being indulged like a spoiled child. It means taking an honest look at the fear and being clear that you are not reacting to all of your past fears turning this moderate wave into a tsunami.

Fear is part of our lives and as human beings we will always come up against it. Yet, when we know how to respond to it, then we become empowered and fear no longer has the ability to run our lives. Treat fear like a child. It needs to be guided and disciplined because it has not developed enough to be independent of its parents. A child can't be allowed to do what it wants, or it would become out of control and have no boundaries. When fear pops into our minds. Acknowledge its existence and be patient with it, but don't indulge it. Examine its validity and be certain that you are not confusing a current fear with unresolved childhood fears. Growth takes courage and fear can be one of the greatest opportunities for emotional maturity if we allow it to be. Go ahead. What are you afraid of? Namaste

Learning To Inspire Ourselves First

Inspiration is a funny thing indeed. One moment we can have a flash of genius only to return to our day to day mundane thoughts the next moment. We all want to be " inspired," or to find our muse. Why is it we never look to ourselves and aspire to be our own muses? Once again it goes back to the way society programs us to look outward for everything. As children we are encouraged to put others first and we begin to equate satisfying our needs with something bad. We are told that to put ourselves first is not what good people do, and putting others before us is the key to lasting happiness. I would argue that while being a thoughtful person is valuable, putting others before our own needs creates inner turmoil and perhaps even resentment. It creates an unnatural inner environment.

For true happiness to ever exist within any of us, we must re-program the way we were taught to place others before us. When people first hear this, many are shocked, because to even entertain the idea is wrong and they are instantly guilt-ridden. There is a reason when you’re on a plane you are instructed to put the oxygen mask on yourself first if you’re a parent. You cannot save someone else, if you don't save yourself first. Why do we not look at that as selfish? Perhaps because it makes perfect sense. If we feel uninspired or stuck in our lives, perhaps we are spending too much time looking outward for the answers. There is a reason why we begin and end our life journey alone. We have to learn to be separate above all else. It is not bad to place ourselves and our needs before others. Imagine if you will that everyone's life is like a garden. If you spend all your time in other people's garden, then you have no time to cultivate your own. It will be full of weeds and dead flowers. Who wants to be in a place like that? If we all tended to our own gardens, then we could all enjoy the splender of one another's sacred gardens and life would be richer.

Learning to inspire ourselves first means taking the time to get to know ourselves. We live in such a fast-paced world that many argue they simply don't have the time to slow down and smell the roses. The Italians have one main creed they live by. " dolce far niente." Translated that means the sweetness of doing nothing. They close up their businesses and schools every day at lunch, and the families spend several hours enjoying the sweetness of doing nothing but eating, laughing and loving. As Americans we have much to learn from them. We never stop going. Everything is fast. faster food, faster internet speed, faster phones. We never slow down long enough to even smell the coffee we bought at Starbucks. If we are to be happy, we simply have to slow down and make the time to put ourselves first. We have to make a conscious decision to make inspiration a part of our daily lives and that inspiration must be a calling from within.

Meditation comes in many forms. Not all of us can sit patiently for long periods of time and go into a deep trance. Unfortunately for many, they have a misconception of what meditation is. For years I tried to meditate but having ADD can really make sitting and focusing a challenge. I have re-defined the idea of meditation for myself to make it realistic and applicable to myself. I encourage others to do the same. Meditation is simply dedicated time to going within. It doesn't have to involve chanting or mantras. It can be as simple as closing your eyes and taking several deep breaths. Not putting a time constraint on it, or any expectations. It can be creating a refuge where there are no problems,or people that demand anything of you. It is a place where you can be the star. Most importantly it is your space. it belongs only to you and if you spend the time developing it, it can be a place you look forward to retreating to. We have to recharge as humans. Our spirituality is not some new age concept, it is an integral part of our existence Learning to find a way to seek out alone time will inspire you to become the person you want to be, and in time it can teach you to become your own muse. Namaste!

Finding Our Own Answers Within

As children we are taught to look toward our parents or the caretakers in our lives for answers. We then looked toward our teachers and authority figures. It would simply make sense that as adults we would continue to look outside of ourselves to find answers. Yet at some point after years of fruitless searching many of us reach a point in our inner-journey where we realize other's answers may not necessarily be our own. To finally realize that we have to make our own way can be painful and even cataclysmic for some. It goes back to that existential aloneness that all humans eventually must face. There are those that would have us believe that without their knowledge we don't stand a chance of finding the answers we need to evolve. That is simply not true. While there are those that can inspire us with their awareness, we ultimately are the ones who must find our own way.

many ask "How do I find the answers, when all I have are questions?" that is indeed a legitimate question. We all struggle with who we are and what our purpose is here on earth. Many believe that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. When a person is drowning, the worst thing they can do is fight. They will tire eventually and die. It is much the same with our spiritual journeys. We have to stop struggling and accept who we are right now. That is not always easy, especially if we are facing difficult circumstances in our lives. As humans we spend so much time trying to hang on to everything and everyone in our lives. Letting go is something we are conditioned to avoid. We rationalize with ourselves by saying if I let go of this person or this situation, then I will be alone and suffer and that is just too scary, so I will just hang on for dear life. Suffering is a part of the human condition. Life is full of suffering, but by holding on to people or things longer than we should, then we are creating our own suffering. We have to learn to go within and act as our own advisors.

A wonderful exercise has to do with visualization. It is particularly great for those who are not at the point where they can meditate. We have our imaginations for a reason, so use it. When you are about to drift off to sleep or anytime throughout the day when you are struggling with a problem. Close your eyes and create a person in your mind. Spend the time to really get to know that person. What they look like, the way they talk, how they make you feel. Use them as a sounding board when you are struggling with a problem. Talk to them and get their opinion. Over time, you will begin to see that the person in your imagination is your higher self. this person has the right answers because they are part of you. they know you and love you. While it is nice to bounce ideas off of friends and loved ones, in the end we have to make our own decisions. having an advocate within yourself is the key. It means you trust yourself and your ability to make healthy decisions. It is a powerful exercise that I created for myself and I cannot say enough about how much it works. the empowerment you will gain is incredible. It will gently wake up your soul and teach you to stop looking outward for answers. Namaste!

Learning To Trust In Others Begins With Learning To Trust Ourselves

Trust is a funny thing, either you have it or you don't. When it comes to the question of trust, most psychologists agree with Bowlby's theory of attachment. If an infant is raised in an environment where their caretaker(s) is present and nurturing then more often than not the child trusts that the world is a safe place to explore. That being said, even the most trusting of children can lose their ability to trust if their family is fractured by divorce or death. Trust is the glue that binds relationships. If that epoxy is not the foundation of any relationship, then like a poorly built boat, eventually it will spring a leak and sink.

Trust can be as elusive as a jaguar, and as resilient as nature. The key to trusting others, begins with a strong trust in self. That means knowing who we are and having faith that we can pick people to care about us that are worthy of our love. It also means knowing when things are not healthy for us and having the trust we need to move on. How do we trust ourselves? The first step is self-evaluation. We have to be honest enough with ourselves to acknowledge that we may not place as much trust in ourselves as we should. This is typically obvious in the quality of our life and relationships. If we are not happy, then we are not trusting our worth. When we trust in ourselves, we know that we deserve joy thus we seek out only those people and experiences that honor us.

If we are totally honest with ourselves, we can recall relationships that we knew were not entirely healthy for us. Not necessarily destructive, but simply not supportive of our intrinsic value. Most of us eventually walked away, but for some the price was high. Our self-esteem was affected and it made it even more likely that we would end up in another relationship that did not honor the great people we were. Do we subconsciously seek out relationships and experiences that allow us to replay our childhoods? If we felt unloved as a child, as adults will we seek out that love with a stranger? The experts agree that there is some truth to that theory. Unfortunately for many, the people that they attempt to receive love from, are as emotionally unavailable as their childhood caretakers, thus it becomes a catch 22. Only until we step back from our relationships and have the courage to honestly examine them, will we see just how little trust some of us might have actually had.

We come into this life alone and we die alone, yet in between we have the privilege to love and be loved. the great Carl Jung posited that without "you" there can be no real sense of "me." As human beings we do need interaction with other human beings. We all crave love and want to feel close to others. Yet, if we cannot embrace our separateness, then we can never fully appreciate our togetherness. So many look at the periods when they are in between relationships as misery personified. They are "lonesome," and feel like they are in idle until they meet that special someone that will fill them up. Sadly, they miss a wonderful opportunity to build up a strong and loving relationship with themselves. They never fully grasp the concept that the greater the relationship they build with themselves, the greater their future relationships with others can be.

Today have the courage to examine your life. Are you happy with where it is going? Are you happy in your relationships? Is it hard to be alone? We don't have to be single to learn to trust ourselves. We have the ability to step back within a relationship and reclaim ourselves at any given moment. Ask yourself honestly "do I trust myself?" Some people may shrug their shoulders and answer sheepishly, "I don't know." On the back of the dollar bill it says "In God we trust." we have seen it our whole lives, and we never question it. Most people simply trust in God, yet where is it written "trust in self"? Do we think it is selfish or narcissistic to place more trust in ourselves then those around us? Why can we not be autonomous first? Place trust in yourself first and you will see how much happier and healthier your relationships can be. Remember "In self we trust."

Living A Balanced Life

What does living a balanced life really mean? Our culture advocates doing things in moderation, yet for many that can be a challenging concept. Living a balanced life simply means giving equal power to both heaven and earth. We attempt to seek a happy medium, one which relies equally on God(or whatever entity you choose to call it) and ourselves. That sounds easy enough in theory, but it can often be daunting. When our lives feel out of sync, it could very well be that we have lost our equilibrium and need to regain or find a sense of balance.

In this culture, we are taught to "turn things over." From an early age, we have all these balls thrown at us. Eventually we begin to feel angry and restless in our lives, because we might be juggling ideas that don't necessarily align with our true selves. It is at this point we have what in psychology is coined as an "identity crisis." What does this really mean? It means that there is an imbalance within who we are and who we want to be. If we have allowed the world around us(e.g. family, friends, society, etc) to tell us who we "should" be, then our journey is not authentic and eventually a voice within tells us something is just not right. It can begin as a whisper, but eventually a crisis or trying event in our life will ignite that whisper into a loud, thundering scream. Unfortunately for many, the voice will be squelched and replaced with an addiction, or another distraction that continues the alienation from one’s true self. Why do we let others dictate our happiness? Why do we not follow our dreams because others might deem them as frivolous? So many people live an unauthentic life because they are living the life of other's expectations.

Many people may be at a crossroad in their life. A place where they are looking back in disappointment and forward with confusion. They question, how do I live my life differently? How do I live the rest of my life for myself and not for others? The answer is simple. Just do it and stop waiting for permission. We cannot expect someone to wave a magic wand over us and suddenly transform our lives. The power of change is not outside of us-it is within. The time to start is now with the firm resolve that no one but you can change your life. Acceptance is key. We cannot live our life with regret- it poisons the soul. We are here at this exact moment because we chose this path. Life did not just happen to us. we are not victims of our circumstances. For many that is often the most painful and difficult truth. To cognitively accept that they made every decision along the path of their life can be both affirming and alarming.

The gift of life is that each day we can start over. we don't have to continue to make the same choices and walk down the same path. The greatest advice about spirituality that one can ever receive is that everyone has a different time table. You might look around you and see those that appear so "enlightened," while you feel like a car stuck in the mud. Stop comparing and searching to arrive at a place of enlightenment. Just accept yourself here in this moment and know that you will reach a place of balance. Your spirit is waking up and it might take a few cups of coffee to kick it into high gear..... Just breathe, laugh and keep moving forward.

Our Passion Is Our True Calling

Our minds are our greatest tools. We can create anything if we just believe. First in ourselves and then in our power to create our heart-felt desires. We have to stop waiting for life to happen to us and make it happen for us. It starts with passion. The word "passion," derived from Latin passion, means an intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something. The Greek asked only one question when a man died, did he have passion?

What we are passionate about is what drives us through our lives and although it may change; it is always present. For some it is a mere whisper while for others a trumpeting cry. Perhaps we have not really thought about what we are passionate about. If not, now is the time to begin. There was an old proverb about a man who was working in his garden when a voice spoke from the heavens. The voice told the man he had only 24 hours to live so to use the time wisely. The man continued to work in his garden. A little later a neighbor was walking by and he asked the man how he was doing. The man told his neighbor of the voice and its prediction. The neighbor in shock looked at the man and asked " what are you going to do with that time my friend?" The man calmly answered "I am already doing it." Our passion does not have to be grandiose, it can be as simple as tending to our gardens. Passion is the underpinning of our joy and without it, we are left like a dingy floating aimlessly in open waters.

Many struggle daily with the existential question, what is my purpose? Why not ask what is my passion? Why must we feel as if we are here to earn our happiness? Our joy or passion is the gift we already have earned. It is our personal relevance which is the key to our purpose and ultimate happiness. Perhaps the greatest poverty of all is going through life as though we have never found our purpose, when our purpose all along was simply to find our passion and live it. There are really only two things we must master in our lifetimes to find true happiness- be of service to others as much as we possibly can and polish our inner being to its fullest radiance. That means we must take the time to ask ourselves what am I passionate about and what brings me the greatest joy. Why waste another moment....start asking. Namaste.

True Happiness Is Our Birthright

It has been said that every journey begins with the first step. How do we take the first step toward finding true inner-happiness? Most of us have been saddled from birth with what we are "suppose" to believe in regarding happiness. These beliefs belong to others and might not necessarily be own. When we strip away all of the circumstances in our lives, e.g. money, bills, relationships, etc- the one constant that always remains is "self." All the other things are transitory, they only have power over our happiness if we allow them to. Ultimately that something to believe in should always be "ourselves."

There is probably a collective cry echoing "But, how do I believe in myself and is this really the key to happiness?" Here is an interesting question. Why should happiness be something obtainable? Why shouldn't it already be something we naturally own? The answer lies in the messages that are passed down to us. For so many of us, when we are born all around us we are bombarded with this misconception that we are to spend our lives seeking out and earning rites to happiness. True happiness should not be a state we arrive at. It should be a birthright we already have. We simply have to quit expecting it to be a result of specific actions. That is not to say that we should not have goals and desires, but for one to believe that happiness is a clandestine state that has to be earned is a fallacy. When we fall prey to this belief, we automatically kill our chances of happiness because we have given our power away. Once we give our power to something outside of ourselves then we are no longer in control of our destinies and we become imbalanced. Happiness is living in the moment and accepting ourselves for exactly who we are. The knowledge that we have the power to change our lives at any given moment by changing our attitude is a powerful realization.

Sit for a moment and be honest with yourself. Have you always felt happiness was something you had to earn? Was there always a void that never seemed to be filled even after you obtained those things that were supposed to bring you happiness? Now breathe and believe that at this very moment you can be happy by just living in the moment and knowing it is already part of your birthright. You don't have to earn it. Happiness is not a destination, it is a journey that begins with believing in yourself. It is already here waiting for you to stop seeking it. Namaste