Realizing That Our Fears Have Power Only If We Let Them

Fear is a part of our biological makeup. It reminds us that we are human and motivates us to recognize danger and act appropriately. As children we all recall being frightened by something. For many of us, it was a hideous creature lurking under our beds or dwelling in the cavernous realms of our closets. In reality, those monsters were only figments of our imagination and a byproduct of our struggle for autonomy. As adults, it can be easy to give into our fears and find ourselves once again like those frightened children clinging to our teddy bears and waiting for our parents to reassure us that we are safe. The first step in not falling prey to our fears, is to recognize them as they rear their nasty little heads and then to realize that they only have as much power as we allow them.

Some fears are legitimate. They speak to us about things we need to address. For example, if we don't pay our electric bill on time, then we face the reality of having our lights turned off. These little fears are a part of day to day living and simply keep us moving in the way society expects us to move. Yet other fears can be more then gentle reminders of the things we are expected to do in order to be deemed responsible. There are the fears that are like the pre shocks of an earthquake. they start off small but if we give them too much power, they can have catastrophic effects.

Although most people don't realize it, The anatomy of a fear is quite precise for each individual. It starts out like thus. Someone is arguing with their partner about money and makes an angry comment about how irresponsible the other is. Sure enough, there might be some validity in that, but the person is too angry and hurt to recognize it. They hurl back accusations and both people storm off angry. The person who was accused of being irresponsible begins to ruminate and rather than vow to find resolution continues to feel angry and resentful, indignant even. What they fail to realize is that the schemas in their subconscious mind have hooked on to past unresolved experiences where they might have been told they were irresponsible. So now, the fear and insecurity kicks in and regardless of whether there was any truth to the accusation or not, the center of the brain where fear is regulated has fledged a full blown attack.

In order to understand fear, we first to accept that we all have ingrained patterns of dealing with and resolving problems. Some of you are crying out, "But wait, I really DO have something to be afraid of. I lost my job and they are going to come and repo my car any day. How can I NOT be afraid?" That is a valid question. Of course one would be fearful in a situation like that. Yet, rather than allow yourself to ruminate and let the fear paralyze you into inactivity. Try to break the cycle of fear and look back on all the times in the past when you were at your darkest hour and things did somehow work out. It is not that the fears are being ignored, they are just not being indulged like a spoiled child. It means taking an honest look at the fear and being clear that you are not reacting to all of your past fears turning this moderate wave into a tsunami.

Fear is part of our lives and as human beings we will always come up against it. Yet, when we know how to respond to it, then we become empowered and fear no longer has the ability to run our lives. Treat fear like a child. It needs to be guided and disciplined because it has not developed enough to be independent of its parents. A child can't be allowed to do what it wants, or it would become out of control and have no boundaries. When fear pops into our minds. Acknowledge its existence and be patient with it, but don't indulge it. Examine its validity and be certain that you are not confusing a current fear with unresolved childhood fears. Growth takes courage and fear can be one of the greatest opportunities for emotional maturity if we allow it to be. Go ahead. What are you afraid of? Namaste